2 Years later...a blog coming from Minoune R.!

Hello my Friends!

MIAOWWWWW!

I'm not sure where to begin, but this story is for the books...the same kinda books that were written about the carpet munching dog (I say carpet munching in the literal way, not the perverted way you freaks!).

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So my Mother that loves me, and my Father that hates me are finally gone to Vegas on a dream trip.

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My usual caregiver is Cat-Man...but she moved away to buck-f*ck Kanata and she's knocked up, so she can't take care of me. The only other logical option was to ask this girl known as, for the intimates, Rox-Star (RS).

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RS is a cat person, she likes dogs too...but cats are better. Mom and Dad...well Mom asked RS to take care of me while they were away in Vegas. I know Dad didn't, cause he hates me and wants me to die.

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RS gladly accepted to take care of me. After all, its simple. I just need food and water every second day. I crap in a sand box..that Mom can clean out once she comes back.

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The Saturday before leaving, Mom went to RS's place to deliver the key for her to be able to enter the house and feed me. I don't eat when I'm alone, but regardless. I need food and water.

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Come Monday night, it was due time for RS to come over and tend to my needs. It was cold as hell on earth outside...enough to freeze your gonad off. At 7pm, I see RS's face in the window. I really could not care less...but I could not help but stare at her. It was funny, she could not unlock the door. She tried both locks, the key fit in the hole, but didn't turn. I'm sure I had food left in the dish and I know she probably thought, 'the lock is frozen'. She tried real hard! It was dark out and she wondered if the neighbours were watching. She went home, made a few phone calls to Double D wondering if by any chance she had a key, and to Kev to make sure that the key she put back at his place was the right one. Double D had no key, and Kev had his key back, thought about what to do...but had to MAKE SURE it was really not working before calling the Parental Units in Vegas. (lucky she asked where they were staying). She came back to try again 30 minutes later....to no avail, it was not working. I could hear her swear in French and in English...and probably in Russian, Spanish and Eskimo.

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She called the hotel in Vegas, after asking for Dad's room, they didn't have anyone by that name there, She then asked for Mom's room, no one by that name there. SHE KNEW THE R's WERE STAYING THERE!!!....turns out that if you remove an 'e' from my Mom's name, you reach their room! Of course, no answer, voice mail!

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I'm sure Mom freaked thinking someone died when they heard RS's message. I know Dad probably gave her a barrel of shit and that there was no action in their posh hotel room that night.

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RS gets up early for work, she emailed my parents with the hope of them reading emails...but was hesitant. So she braved the grizzly bears and called them at 7am, Vegas time....Dad Grizzly answered...told RS he hated her and to let me die! Blasphemy!!...then, after talking to Mom, it was concluded that the back door was probably, highly, likely unlocked. OK.

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And then it got fun!

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I heard RS pull up the driveway at 4pm. She hauled a step ladder in the snow bank near the fence and proceeded, with the grace of a cow, wearing her hiking boots, painting jeans, old winter jacket, tuque and a cell phone safely stowed in her left pocket in case of 'emergency', to hike up the fence and make her way to the back door, Agaguk-style.

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One leg over the fence, cedar bushes in the head, she made it over the fence to land in 3ft deep snow. OK, acceptable depth. She kept plowing through....and it got deeper, deeper and deeper. She skinnied herself to fit between the patio chairs and the fence, two obstacles done, two more to go. And then the snow drift appeared. Like a real abominable snow man, she walked though the snow drift with the grace of a retard and made it to the steps of the back door (wondering what the glass patio table she stepped on will look like in the spring) and like a hot knife through butter, the door opened! I was saved!!.....The abominable snow retard was here to feed me....complete with snow stuffed down her boots and underware!

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I can all tell you what she looks like frustrated with no pants on!!! What a sight! I was fed and she found the right key for the door...cause in the excitement of her departure, Mom gave her the wrong key to the R. Palace!

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I've been fed every day since then, and RS comes in through the front door with a smile every day!

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Lesson learned here....go pick up the right key! Don't have the wrong key dropped off!!

Please go easy on my Mom, I know she is really upset about all of this...but I really had to write about it!

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Love, Minoune

PS: If only I had pictures of all of this!!!!

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Scared shitless...literally!


Hello faithfull readers. RS and I had a reunion this weekend...a short, barky one.

Papa was off to the airport, Mama went to visit RS where she is house/dog sitting.

RS has the pleasure of co-habitating with a German Sheppard for three weeks (ending on saturday) Breton is a young, happy go lucky, intelligent, obedient dog. RS figured it would be fun for Breton and Chase to meet. Breton is a social dog, she has full of friends at the park, they race, sniff eachother, play fetch, hump eachother....you know...what us dogs do for socializing.

Here is a picture of the freak!

Well, well, well. I show up with Mama, first the neighborhood kids greet me. Mama, confused, talks to them with the "who the f$#k are you?" look....and then Breton from behind the fence starts barking and jumping on the fence. RS, in control of the situation suggests that we get Breton on a leash and go to the park right away. We meet back at the front door, leashes on....and this is where the barking match begun.

Breton barked profanities to me. You humans could not understand, so let me translate.

Breton: Yo bitch, who are you and what are you doing here?
Chase: You crazy Biznatch relax, I'm Chase, I come to play.
Breton: Get the hell off my property. This is Breton territory.
Humans look at eachother with fear in their eyes, decide to start walking.

We walk, my hair still straight on my back, I'm terrified! I have to poop. Mama picks it up...gags! RS laughs hysterically. Breton keeps walking. We keep walking. Mama is still gaging from the stench coming from the bag. I find a lush front lawn....poop again, good thing RS has a second bag...Mama gags even more...I start breakdancing-running man style in the lush front lawn, taking chunks off these people's lush front lawn out and making them fly. Mama still gagging, crouched down, picking up the "gold". RS laughing hysterically. Breton keeps walking, almost embarassed to be seen with me.

We get to the park, Breton gets to go off-leash, picks at me because I'm still tied, smelling my ass and all. Humans know better, they expect war. We keep walking. Go around the block, we tolerate eachother. Go home.

And the profanities start again, but this time I win. Breton the Creton stays outside, I get to roam her domain. SUCKA!! I ate some of her cookies, I would tease her through the patio door, I played in her room. Only I know if I peed there or not! Muhahahaha!

All in all, not such a great expericence. I'm never going back to Breton's again! She's a hairy freak that scares the shit out of me...literally!

This is two strikes for RS, first it was Hercules who bit my ear off, then Breton who tried to bite my head off.

I'm going back to mis-behaniv' in my house thank you very much!

Over and out until the next adventure!

Chase

PS: I hear Breton searched for me in every room of the house after I left. Did you find my present yet Breton the Creton?!?!?!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

So guess what, guess what, guess what? Rox-Star came back, and we went to the cottage again! Not only were the black flies gone but I got to meet Bandit, my Sugar Daddy. He's an old White German Sheppard. Nice guy and all, but kinda weird. I'll spare you the details.

Attached are pictures of our weekend adventure. RS arrived on friday night. I greeted her to a chewed rug, running shoes tossed all over, Mom's Italian purse in the living room and of course the usual dish rags on the floor. RS laughed it off....thinking some things never change!

Of course I proceeded to look through her bags...see picture.

She went straight to bed...where I patiently waited for her, stretched out and limp as a noodle!

We woke up early and I was promised a car ride...that I got!!! Ears flapping in the wind, chewing the air at 100km/hr, there is nothing better!!

And then we met. Bandit, the infamous German Sheppard! It was love at first sniff. We played, I swam, I ran and ran...and ran....and ran...and ran...did I mention that I ran?? It was a blast, and I was pooped on the first day. Then there was a second day. Again, we played, I swam, I ran and ran...and ran....and ran...and ran...did I mention that I ran?? Have a look at our first meeting! The paparazzis were in hiding taking pictures of us as if we were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! PERVS!

Nice to sniff you!

On that note folks, it's been a slice.

Double C - out!

Mission Accomplished!


We did it. They came back, the party is over.

After a 3 hour flight delay, Mama & Papa came home. I recognized Papa, but Mama, I'm not so sure about. They came home so excited to see me....but I could not give two hoots! I only listened to RS! You should have seen Mama running to the door, to only find it locked!! RS could not unlock it fast enough (cause I know how to open it now!!)....the door opened....and right past her I went!

I'm pleased to note that they had a wonderful trip and are both very exhausted. Papa is thrilled to see that the lawn looks so great in the backyard (Kudos to Lulu & Fru!!)

Its a good thing they missed me so much, they didn't seem that angry about the carpet crater, and they ensured RS not to worry about it.

I have to admit, RS came very close at spilling some bean details that are in the blog. She kept our adventures to a minimum "need to know" basis.

I was really confused when she took her car keys and I had to stay with the two people that came home tonight. I bid her farewell in the upstairs window....I hope she comes back soon.

She is going to send them the blog before the weeken because its too good to keep from them. (Papa had the computer on not long after he came home...I'm sure Mama will do the same tomorrow morning!)

They have plenty of adventures to tell us, I'm sure...but all they were both looking for was a good shower and a good night sleep.

I sent them all wishes on your behalf. I'm sure they are going to call you soon!

Is this the end of Chase & RS?? Maybe not!?

I was glad to be part of your morning routine for a month!!

Chase!

Tour Wrap up!



So this is it. "Rox-Star & Chase: The Month Long Tour" is over.

I had a blast with RS and I'm sure to see her again. Maybe she will even invite me to her cottage again. That was really fun!

We took a picture of her and I last night. I was really agitated and loved the taste of her lip balm. You will see on the pictures that she is trying not to make weird faces cause I'm trying to lick her silly!



We cleaned up the house from top to bottom, even if I know that Mama will do it all over again when she comes home tomorrow. I'm not sure I know that Mama & Papa are coming home tomorrow, but whatever! I have the memory of a goldfish, I don't even remember what I ate yesterday...wait a minute, it's been the same thing for ages!

I would also like to take a minute and thank my fans, Catman, Lulu & Bie, for all the laughs, support and help throughout this tour. Without you, I don't think I would have been as much fun.

I also need to thank Maintenance Boy for letting the band take him hostage. He did a wonderful job.

This will be my last blog entry until I present the blog to Mama upon her return to work. You will all be included in the unveling. Please keep it a secret until then.

Until next time,
Chase over and out!

The final stare down.


Sing with me people "And nowwwww, the end is near....and so I face the final curtain"

Last night, after working hard at, scrubbing the carpet, mowing the lawn, blowing up a tire, checking the oil on the car, taking it for a test run because its blowing blue smoke and screeching like a wicked witch of the west, and finding out that the battery is not charging its self,we (Lulu, Fru,RS and myself) sat in the backyard and enjoyed what Mother Nature had to offer.

I was very happy to be able to do my thing in freshly mowed lawn...and then I saw him, sitting on the window sill upstairs, staring at me. The neighbour's cat!

I figured I would stare back, so I did. I stared, and stared until I got the shakes, and stared and stared, and stared. He would not come down. All I wanted to do was play!!

This morning, after a great night's sleep on RS's back (yes ON her back), I went out for my morning thing...and there he was again...on the window sill. And I stared, and stared, and stared...it was time for RS to go do what she does everyday, and I stared, and stared, and stared. Even a Kong full of crunchy peanut butter didn't convince me to go in. RS, once again lied to me telling me we were going for a walk, but I fooled her too biatch!! I snuck back out!...but she picked me up off the ground. I did everything to not go in the house...spread eagle, running in the air, twisting myself like a fish...but she has a good grip...and back to the house I went.

She then left with a suitcase again. I'm confused? Do I get the house to myself? Do I get the kind of carpet I want? Because if I do, I want really really fancy carpet. I heard it tastes better.

I think our tour is coming to an end. Mama and Papa come home tomorrow, but I don't really understand from where. I'm going to miss RS, she takes me everywhere! I have to show you a picture of RS and I when I get one.

Now, I just hope I get a little brother or a sister soon. That would be soooooooo cool!

Chase

Rules are made for breaking. This is what I do with rules:

Soooooooooo, I didn't attack the crater all day, even if its staring me in the face!!

RS has a different approach with things. She plays the game very well! She cleared the room, left the door and the TV on...it keeps me entertained and I can lay in the bed allllllllll day long. I had a great time ramsacking the room, building blanket castles and all. Have a look.


I did however PEE on the carpet. RS is no longer a novelty, she really is my boss for life now it seems. I think that's why I'm doing these things to her.

I didnt go into the "cachot"...instead, we went to run. And that we did. Up and down the hill, right and left. I'm a maniac!!! And then, to cool off, we went to her friend's house where she put her funny looking feet in the pool, and then, I attempted to walk on the solar blanket. Solar blanket walking = Not a smart idea. (and we are not going to tell her friend we did that!!) and then in the car, where I stuck my head out of the window and eat air. People in other cars were laughing at me. It was a BLAST!!!

She mentionned something about taking out the cage if I put a paw on the crater in the carpet, and I think she is dead serious.

She is also the one that has to break the crater news to Ma & Pa. Eeeeek! Good luck with that RS!

Well, dudes, I have to go back and attempt to get the peanuts that are stuck in my Kong (another sneaky trick to keep me busy I suppose!)

By the way, did you meet my long lost cousin? Here is a picture of him!! We have the same coloured hair!! It runs in the family!

The tour is on its last leg. Crazy how time flew. I'm going to miss RS.

Chase, over and out!

Chez Tapis Supreme, on a un probleme!


Yo!

What you are about to see my cause me harm! This is what RS came home to over the weekend. I almost made her cry! Warning, this is a shocking picture! (note that the damage is a little more extensive now, but she doesn't have the heart to take a picture of it because she really doesn't find it funny!)

To give you an idea, this is at the bottom of the door, in front of my room and where RS also sleeps!

The minute she saw this, I knew I was in for some trouble. In the "cachot" I went and stayed for a good while. Once I came out, I would walk with my tail (the little that's left) between my legs and my years stuck to my cheeks. I could sense the madness in RS.

It is now Sunday, and the tension has eased off. RS really doesn't know what to do with the crater in the carpet. She thinks that I'm going to do more extensive damage when she goes back to work on Monday and is working really hard on a plan. Maybe thinking about leaving that bedroom door open...but is worried about her stuff....so she started moving everything in to Mom and Dad's room. She knows I can open closets, so she also put Mom's wedding dress in a safe haven.

A small suitcase is packed and it has me worried. Is she leaving me? Is she that mad at me? She still walks me, feeds me and plays with me, its a good sign....I guess.

I best go back and show her some loving...and maybe help her with a plan to stop me from making a bigger crater.

Adios!

Chase